I've established my reputation as a discoverer over the past few years to the point where there's plainly no need to defend myself any further, so when I discovered this latest thing, the Caribbean Porcupine Tree, I expected immediate acceptance and recognition, but it seems those so-called "botanists" are an elitist group, somehow deferring instead to their "existing record of known plants."
Once a week or so, whilst out seeking adventure, I'm able to persuade my handlers to take me to a place I know and love. It's called Gaby's World, and it offers more than just good prices on tasty, authentic, Puerto Rican fare, this place has pony rides too.
Anyhow, as we rolled in one day, fresh in anticipation of nasty weather (hurricane weather, truly), I spotted something so unique I had to brand it afresh and label it for my own. This, I do truly call, the "Porcupine Tree."
I've seen cacti a plenty, and trees more wild than you could ever imagine, but I'd never seen a tree that was also as prickly and waterlogged as a porcupine.
I promptly documented and reported my discovery, only to be told by the so-called powers-that-be that this was not a new species of plant, but an old and well documented one.
The tree is taller than tall (much bigger than a person and about as tall as a building) and it's a freaking porcupine already. What more do you people want from me?
Help me stop these "botanistas" in their tracks. I'm the one who discovered this plain, ordinary, everyday plant living outside of a popular restaurant, surely I deserve to be credited thusly. Oh, and by the way, in case you're curious, it really was me who called it the "Porcupine Tree" and not an elder, handler or some other sort of parental-typed associate who was just tying to make me look more clever than I am.
That was all me, folks, and it's my discovery.
Above - Here is the plant so elusive, even botanists insist I'm crazy.
I've established my reputation as a discoverer over the past few years to the point where there's plainly no need to defend myself any further, so when I discovered this latest thing, the Caribbean Porcupine Tree, I expected immediate acceptance and recognition, but it seems those so-called "botanists" are an elitist group, somehow deferring instead to their "existing record of known plants."
