With all the articles I spread and share the world over, you've got to hold an ounce of doubt about me. I'm young, less-than-seasoned and juvenile in more ways than I'd ever admit short of my own daddy paying it unduly upon me after I've already cleared an article to run. Beyond that, a big thing I've learned is that there are no good airlines left, not even a single one, and that they're all just a bunch of clowny-jerks. That's right, I said it, "Clowny-Jerks!"
Here's kind of how our deal wound out, at least as it pertains to the whole airline thing. We're journalists, have been for years, and we're syndicated far, wide and deep, assuming depth of syndication has any value at all. Beyond that, Daddy is traveling on a tourism contract and Miss Mama Lady is doing likewise, each on behalf of different publications. We get mad sorts of free food, hotel rooms, and just about any old you-name-it. Doesn't mean a darn thing to the airlines, but read on.
The airlines have a most peculiar business, I guess. Presi-Dubya Bush hasn't seen fit to lavish mad billions upon them in the wake of 9/11, despite the fact that the terrorist attacks of that fateful day were decidedly airline-centric. I'll never understand how it is that private security firms who seal up hand lotion in Zip-Lock bags have made mad fortunes while airlines have gone bankrupt, but then again, I don't know much about much.
I sent off a handful of media requests to every airline that handles the relevant airport, asking them for media consideration though without any success. Daddy-Man sent off similar (but different) requests, asking the same, without any success, and Miss Mama Lady, requesting consolation in a similar media capacity, received the same lack of response, ill-response, and negative response just the same.
What we've since learned is that no airline will grant media personnel any consideration whatsoever since they rely their profit so heavily on the likes of last-minute journalists traveling the world over and around without sufficient notice, nor any department by which to beg a fair fate.
Oh man, these airlines are stuuuu-pid! Do they really wish to jack over the journalists? That's ten pounds of dumbness on a good day. Have you ever wondered why airlines get such terrible press, almost universally? I'll give you a hint, it's because not one of them has even the first clue how to deal with the media.
We asked for a couple-buck discount, an upgrade, extra frequent-flier-miles (which costs them nothing), or even a beverage concession, but the painfully few (about 16%) that responded said nothing of value while the rest said that other something that much worse... which was literally nothing.
Airlines are dying day by day and it's only a tragedy for the people who work on the front lines since they have no control, no authority, and only lose their jobs once the senior execs make the biggest, stupidest mistakes. Obviously Southwest provides triply-terrible service, as it's their trademark, but the likes of Alaska, who pretend to be a top-notch luxury line are easily half as bad still. They're kinder to their passengers, despite charging an outlandish premium for that service you'll never get, and you'll pay every nickel as much extra to get your five peanuts in transit.
What I say is buy your airfare by price and price alone. There's simply nothing else that can factor into the equation, since nobody gives you even the first degree of customer service and you can fly 100,000 miles the world over (as I have) and still get lousy, lackluster, second-rate treatment.
Quick advice on my part is this: Delta and United are well and good enough, but although they're about the cheapest, they're not the best. They're cut rate garbage, and here's why that's good, because the costlier, ostensibly premium airlines are no better at all.
If you take a cruise, you'll get 5-star food, six meals a day, and enjoy passage at a rate of maybe $100 per day, but when you fly, you'll be lucky to get four Goldfish Crackers for $1,000 per day, and you'll be treated like straight-up steerage. As each of these carriers go out of business, pay them no mind, cry them no tears, and watch them drown in their due form to the watery depths of uncompetitive laziness. Come on guys, these days you could have spent a nickel to earn a dime in this era of decimated and absent customer satisfaction and yet, you didn't.
You don't cry for me when I'm sad I lost my Buzz Lightyear Car, so if your mega-conglomerate folds, I can't even pretend to feel the first ounce of sympathy for you.
If you're feeling enraged by how you're being treated by the airlines, dial them up, call up your senators about a passenger bill of rights; heck, call up the president and let him hear you complain. If you feel enraged by my article and want to call me up here's the number -- got a pencil handy? -- 1-800-boo-hoo.
Above - I'm not going to mention any carriers by name or anything, but let's just say that they're all pretty bad at customer service, and that pretty much none of them care on bit about your comfort, satisfaction, or if you ever come back to fly with them again..
Above - The novelty of flying had not yet worn thin, but I hadn't yet flown. Sixteen hours later, upon arrival, I was not quite as excited about it all.
With all the articles I spread and share the world over, you've got to hold an ounce of doubt about me. I'm young, less-than-seasoned and juvenile in more ways than I'd ever admit short of my own daddy paying it unduly upon me after I've already cleared an article to run. Beyond that, a big thing I've learned is that there are no good airlines left, not even a single one, and that they're all just a bunch of clowny-jerks. That's right, I said it, "Clowny-Jerks!"
