It's a great place or so I'm told. It's located high atop the hill overlooking the town that's home to a chicken feed plant and not much else, and it's right in the heart of the unforgettable UN-designated preservation area known as the "Gúanica Dry Forest"… Don't mistake that to mean you or anyone else should pay it a visit.

Finding the place is hard enough, and my chauffeur, whose command of Spanish is admittedly cursory, had to stop to ask directions. He's a grown man, so that's humiliating enough without the language barrier, but the worst is yet to come.

After what felt like literally minutes of winding up and around through the protected forest roads, we finally came to the place to park, conveniently located across the lot from the tourist information center. It was there that our worst suspicions were confirmed.

To get from the parking area to the abandoned Spanish-American War era fort, you must park your air conditioned carriage and hike 3-miles over broken terrain in 100-degree weather. Once there -- and there isn't much to convince you that you must actually go there -- you have to hike your sorry self back out the same distance.

If you're traveling Puerto Rico with children this is a definite mustn't see attraction, unless everyone in your caravan feels up to the 6-mile round-trip hike, especially in consideration of the Death Valley climate conditions.

We did manage to snap a shot from Gúanica that makes it look darn-near approachable and another from the balcony of our rental home, but don't kid yourself any more than I'm a kid and I know it, this place is restricted to the most elite of hot-weather hikers, and that's a fact.

Above - It may not look like much at this distance, but this is an actual shot taken from my very own bedroom balcony that shows the very fort I just can't seem to ever get to see.

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