Puerto Rico, though Caribbean and 3rd-World in many ways, is not a place known for its deep discounts. The reason you'd get a tattoo in Puerto Rico is not because it's cheap, but because you're there and your judgment may be impaired. If you've long thought about getting a tattoo, I'm not going to say you shouldn't, but I will say you shouldn't do it in Puerto Rico.

So let's stop warming up and start listing off:

1 – You will not save money, unless you're just hell bent on getting the worst tat in the world. If what you want is cheap ink, you can find it in your own home town. The quality is likely to be equal, but the safety is likely to be better.

2 – Even if you are fluent in Spanish, or your artist is a native English speaker who grew up on the mainland, you may still end up with a tattoo that reflect a small miscommunication more than what you actually wanted.

3 – Although Puerto Rico is technically part of the United States, oversight of tattoo parlors may not be as thorough and diligent as you'd like. Government funding for the island is already stretched razor thin, and an easy place to skimp out is on sectors that haven't had specific or well-publicized complaints. The use of sub-par equipment is more common, and the concern for safety is much less.

4 – Since the artist knows he or she will never see you again, the dedication to quality is necessarily diminished. If you need follow-up touch up work, you're going to have to hire somebody back home to do it for you. That means you'll end up paying more than you would have if you'd just got it at home anyhow. Your local artist knows that you are local, likely to come back if you're happy with the artwork, and will almost universally be committed to better work.

5 – Health safety is your biggest and most serious concern. The standards that govern tattoo shops stateside is all but absent in Puerto Rico. In San Juan, you might find a perfectly stand up shop, but once you get out of the city, you're basically in an expensive version of Jamaica, if such a place exists (and it does, it's called Puerto Rico.) Needle safety and blood-borne pathogens are less concerning concepts in the Caribbean, and although the risks of HIV, hepatitis or other incurable illness infection are low, it won't matter if you get infected. More common concerns include simple infection, which are very treatable, but can leave your tattoo forever scarred and otherwise ruined in ways that a cover up tattoo can not fix.

For perspective on the seriousness of the matter, I went to Fat Tony, a tattoo artist in Everett Washington who did some work on my ex. He's an artist at the oldest running tattoo parlor in the United States, and a well regarded ink and piercing artist with a down-to-earth sensibility that makes him likeable, even if it was my ex he did ink for.

"I haven't heard bad things about Puerto Rico specifically," says Tony. "But once you get offshore, even if you're in Guam [which is also a United States protectorate], you have to be really careful about who you hire and what you want." Delicate work takes an experienced hand, and portfolio pictures he shared with me show the difference that years of practice and a natural artistic ability present.

"I've covered up some pretty scary work on people who weren't careful about the artist they used, and some of it would amaze you." Some people get amateur tattoos because they're offered a discount, or because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but Tony suggests that this is not a good idea, since tattoos are essentially permanent, even with the greater health concerns aside.

"In the service we were told not to get tattoos overseas because of all the problems they can cause." He also said that, "Even if you're in a pretty 'safe' place like Puerto Rico, if you don't know the artists reputation and can't check it out, you just can't be sure if he's cutting corners on needles, ink, safety [or] whatever."

If you've always wanted a tattoo and you're in Puerto Rico, hold off on it just a week, and you can thank me the next week. Don't even think about the regret of the image, you'll have plenty of time for that either way, but just be careful about your health.

Fat Tony, who is also a well-known area musician, explained that, "Getting a great tattoo isn't that hard, you just have to be smart, check out the reputation of the artist and the shop, and make sure they're going to be there for you if you have questions."

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